ANTHROPOLOGY–The Definitive Definition (2nd edition)

Posted on December 11, 2012 by



an·thro·pol·o·gy  /ˌanTHrəˈpäləjē/


  1. The professional looting of other cultures, by persons with few original or significant ideas of their own.
  2. Institutionalized raiding among academics, by persons with few original or significant ideas of their own.
  3. An established sport among white people which, like cricket, has been exported internationally and is sometimes unnecessarily copied by those who were its objects and who are the source of original and significant ideas of their own.
  4. The practice of excessively claiming credit for achievements of little value.
  5. The pretentious posture of speaking for others, even as others do their own talking.
  6. Speaking behind the backs of others, or even speaking about others as if the same others were either absent or mute. 
  7. A formal means of certification that involves the bourgeois class of white Westerners producing and consuming knowledge of the world.
  8. A room full of white people, speaking of non-white people.
  9. A method of counterinsurgency and occupation, designed to appropriate, channel, or erase any possibilities for subversion.

Synonyms: philately, butterfly-collecting, bird-watching, counterinsurgency, burglary, larceny, abduction, piracy.

Antonyms: reciprocity, equality, sharing, effective, fruitful, productive.

Used in a sentence:

“Thanks to anthropology, we now know that we are human and make meaning.”

“We finally found out we were primitive, when we saw our photo on the cover of an Introduction to Anthropology textbook.”

“Before it was just things we do as part of our daily routine, but now that anthropology has come, it is theory.”

“An anthropology class is a lot like fifteen men on a dead man’s chest.”

Also see:Anthropologist” in Uncyclopedia.